Last weekend I got to visit San Francisco to spend some time with myself. If you haven’t had the opportunity to travel alone, I highly recommend it. I mean I know San Francisco *barely* counts as "travel" from San Diego, but it still gave me room to practice being with my own company and allowing myself to take up space.
I don’t know why (I have a few ideas) it feels like we’re so often apologizing for ourselves — if not outwardly, there’s like this inward voice that senses the need to be ready with an excuse if someone asks you why you’re eating alone or sitting in a park by yourself. I’ve been trying to practice getting rid of that. Reminding myself that I can go to dinner alone because I wanted to and that’s all the reason I need. Moreover, while at dinner I can fill the space, meaning look around, take in my surroundings, relax my shoulders. I don’t have to be awkwardly huddled over my phone pretending to text my million friends until my meal is finished. I can just enjoy being.
It was a uniquely fulfilling and uncomfortable to purposefully spend that much time alone, but I think it a necessary exercise for everyone. Go somewhere and be. Public or private. Go to both and notice the differences in how you feel in each space. Give yourself permission to exist. And if you can, PLEASE head to the Cypress Tree Tunnel. That shit will fix any problem.